Friday, February 25, 2005


You know its a bad day when...

You put salt instead of sugar in your bosses coffee (long story but blatantly not my fault).
You try to open your front door with the button that opens your car.
Your housemate's dad phones for her, and you say 'please hold the line sir, I'll put you through'.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005


Prime Koala Screwball

Found a website that has wonderful anagrams of Camilla Parker-Bowles' name:
So, unrequited love finally ignited, or pigsy hunt-frenzied hagbag finally got her hands on the crown jewels? None of my business, but blogs are great to make uneducated quips about people you don't know.

Heh heh, and 'Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall' comes out as 'Hell, Monarchists face a dull cow.'

Wednesday, February 02, 2005


Poetry, or Something Like it.

The following poems were written at Heathrow Airport, when all flights were grounded for over 12 hours...we were without our baggage, had to spend the night in terminal one, and the restaraunts were fast running out of food...

Do I want a tasty burger?
YEAH I want a tasty burger!
People stare right through me,
People push into me,
I'm in Terminal One,
And its all come undone.

Flight cancellations,
And fucked up reservations,
Weather is an act of god,
They'll give me no salvations.

So I'll stand here in this queue
Till is barely in my view,
Paranoid and SO annoyed
If they sell out - what to do?

Fix my plight with grease and shite,
Resign myself to stay the night
...only fries and drinks left - that bites.

Teasing hint of texture.
But all I have now is this bag of crisps.
Nothing to dip.
Oh, how I yearn for your velvety, gloopy savouriness now,
And how I long for a cold beer to wash you down.
Hippies make a meal of you,
Stoners make a deal of you,
Oh, what I wouldn't do
To delve into your goo.
Leave you out too long
And you grow a crusty layer,
But I wouldn't turn you down my love,
A tahini-chickpea saviour.

Hmm. I think my obsession with food is leaking out onto this blog a little too much. I'd better put this poem in too...this is just a gushy one about me n' my bloke (see sheep with the cute ears below).

Just floating, blissful with my love
Suspended slowly creeping with my love

So swim a while,
We'll reconcile,
And redirect the tides
To touch us deep inside
No care for blowing winds above
And rule the waves with my true love

Sweet passion has us binding
And through souls we are entwining
As colours sparkle deeply here
And deeper still is shining clear.

So take a breath,
And trust in this,
We'll sink into this otherworld
And swim into another world
That lucky few have found
And lucky few are bound.

Might try to turn that one into a song at some point. If I can be arsed. I'm too hungry to think.

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